What NOT to say.

Chris's company always has a holiday party in January, and they always do it right.  Lots of food, music and liquor - works for me! This year they reserved Foreign Cinema for the night, and the bar next door (which we never went to because we turn into pumpkins at midnight), and it was lovely.  All the good wine and cocktails and freshly shucked oysters we could eat.  Plus passed tapas.  Yes, passed, with full sized forks and little plates.  The food was great but talk about awkward, we were trying to eat while juggling a plate, fork and wine glass - watch out Cirque de Soleil!

So.  As we were waiting at the raw bar for some more of the aforementioned oysters, Chris said hi to a work acquaintance and introduced me to his girlfriend.  After exchanging hellos, the woman put her hand in front of my belly and made that goofy "baby" face people make, like "Hey there pregnant lady with a little baby inside".  Giving her an opportunity to redeem herself, I tilted my head and said "Pardon me?" like, I have no idea what you could possibly mean.  So she did it again.  Hand, goofy face and now "Expecting?".  Of course, I couldn't play dumb again, so I laughed it off, "Well, yeah, two months ago."  The smile never left her face but she was frozen as she searched for something that might in anyway make the moment just go away.  She did the best thing and said nothing, and we went on our way.  Sigh.

So then.  This little guy, a guy I had seen earlier in the night eating at the raw bar (there was no real room to eat, just a place to get oysters), talking loudly on his cell phone.  We walked by him a bit later that evening and he said "Congratulations".  Yep, for the baby.  My unborn baby.  Sigh.

So to sum up.  Unless a woman volunteers the fact that she is pregnant, or you see a baby actually emerging from the womb, it's best to just avoid the whole subject altogether.  I guess that answers the question, Do I look fat in this?

Comments

[Alice]

Well, my dear, if it took you nine months to build, it is going to take you nine months to unbuild. You are supposed to look like you did two months ago!

[Chris]

That was a good night. I enjoyed it, even if the photo booth pictures were awful and I ended up alone grinning like a goofball in the last shot.