The things we say and why we say them.

So someone asks, "How are you doing?"  and you say Fine or Good or Alright, Thanks for asking, how are you? and you say this because it would just be weird to say what you are really thinking like

Well I picked up the beautiful and oddly heavy tiny memento urn which hold my dad's ashes yesterday and pretty much lost it for the rest of the day, and then I set up this kind-of altar in our dining room, where I surrounded the little urn with some of his stuff, random stuff really, like his old dice cups and his mothers tiny blue glasses and that broken beer stein that plays a song when you wind it and lift it up, and the music stops when you set it down, the one that I swear I remember him telling me that he got from some girl he dated who was the daughter of his good friend, and those twizzle sticks - drink stirrers, right? - made from that old, sparkly plastic, that have tiny whistles danging from the ends, I mean, it's weird to make that kind of altar right?  And it's even weirder to want to add more stuff to it, right?  Holy hell, I miss him and I have an emptiness in me everyday that I don't talk about, because you really don't want to hear it.

So yeah, I probably shouldn't say that, so I just say, "I'm fine, thanks for asking."

Comments

[Brie]

I am sorry for your loss. My father passed away in Sept. 2002 from heart failure and it was very difficult for my siblings and me for a while. It's important to work through your grief with your loved ones so you can let go of the hurt and work on holding onto your memories of him. The more my siblings and I talk of our father, the easier it is to speak of him and remember him in good times. Best wishes.